Kooking Koranically for a Krowd

The Gitmo Cookbook  is just what you need for your next party! Whether you're entertaining 100 political detainees or just plan an intimate gathering of 6 to 8 people you wish were behind barbed wire, these recipes are simple, nutritious and halal!
We at Quid thank the Dummocrats for coming up with this ingenious way to make money for a military-oriented charity.  We would like to begin here and now to offer our favorite unclean recipes.  We begin with Perfectly Crispy Oven-Baked Bacon:

A quantity of your favorite thin-sliced bacon (we like Smithfield brand)), laid cross wise on cooling racks (like you use to cool cookies). Place these in a jelly roll pan to catch the drippings. Place pan in oven, set to bake at 385 degrees F. and they are perfect after 25 minutes if you like them golden and crispy, 22 minutes of you like them a little chewy, 30 minutes if you like'em charred.

We assume you will not let the bacon itself go to waste, but  the drippings may then be reserved for any number of abuses.  We suggest Pork Tamales (use the drippings in the masa) but instead of using the traditional corn husks for the wrappers, tear pages out of a Kew-ran and steam the tamales in some Satanic Verses.  Bon  appétit and remember: Uncleanliness is next to godliness!

Comments

[Laura Curtis]

That's pretty funny - it didn't occur to us to do an anti-Gitmo cookbook but if the "real" one sells maybe we ought to. If we do, I'll include your recipe with credit. :-)