If we didn't know better...

...we'd suspect the French.  Jacques Chirac has not had a good week.  First he was embarrassed that remarks he made about British food have received so much negative press.  Liberation reported that he joked with Russian and German leaders about how bad English food was.   "You can't trust people who cook as badly as that," it quoted him as saying.  Oh, that Jacques- the life of the party! That was a real knee slapper!  As the Washington Times reported, he then lost the Olympic Games to London, thanks largely to the energy and vitality of his nemesis Tony Blair.  And now he has to endure British food at the G8 summit.  Not that his personal menu will have much on it besides crow.  But he's in luck: the Brits have a way with wild fowl.  We like Crow à la Two Fat Ladies:

Crow pour les Malheureux
Set oven at 425º.
You will need two clean crow carcasses.
Fry 3 oz. of salt pork or bacon and 1 cup of shallots in some olive oil until the shallots begin to brown.  Add the birds' livers and stir-fry for a minute. Add some chopped black olives and a tablespoon of fresh thyme  and mix well together.  Remove from the heat and stuff into the bird's cavity.  Brush Heckle and Jekyll all over with olive oil or bacon drippings and place in a snug roasting pan and on into the preheated oven for an hour or so.  Baste every 20 minutes or as the spirit moves.  Recommended spirit: gin.

Dry Martini In and Out
Swirl dry vermouth in some ice cubes; and  pour out, retaining the cubes.  Pour 1-1/2 ounces Bombay gin on the cubes, swirl and strain into a Martini glass over a lemon twist.  Here's looking up your old address!

These recipes are a part of our ocassional series: Unclean Cooking for the Happy Infidel (or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love Gitmo)