Rule Número Uno: Rachel can't just blow in and be a smarty-pants when I've gone to the trouble of reading the Mark Sanford article and watching the video and searching YouTube for a Citibank commercial. It's not right.
That's the only rule I can think of, but while I'm on the subject of Sanford the Transnational Adulterer (call him Sannie the Trannie for short):
I contend that "wise latina" is code for "homely and can't dance and therefore has to find other ways, like racial blackmail, to get attention of any kind." Therefore [How Do You Solve A Problem Like] Maria doesn't qualify.
Off hand, have any of you ever heard of a politician or famously unfaithful person go ga-ga over a complete dog? I just think it's mighty convenient that Mark Sanford's "soul mate" has such hot packaging. Maybe his soul is metaphysically linked to his ying-yang.